Saturday, 2 May 2015

Feeling Alone

I don`t normally write sentimental or deep posts on here as I think some things should be kept behind closed doors but for some reason I feel that I need to write this down and get it off my chest.

Recently I`ve been feeling really alone. Now I have never been one of those people that needs to be constantly surrounded by people and can count on one hand how many people I can call close friends.

Over the last few months I have come to WANT to have more friends and have come to realise that I`m am really lonely.

But why don`t I have more friends?? What is wrong with me?? Why don`t people want to be around me or my family?? Why do we keep getting `forgotten` about or `thought you were busy` when it comes to social events??? Ask me and find out, not assume.

I keep saying to myself that I don`t need loads of friends and that what I have in my family unit is enough but I feel sorry for my kids when they keep getting left out of events that all their friends have been to.

Yes I know I`m not the most confident person in the world, I may come across arrogant but I`m really just scared so keep quite and to myself.

One thing that I have always promised myself is to be true to myself and not become a different person just to be accepted. I see so many people being one person in front of others then completely different as soon as they turn their back.

My amazing family; Should I change or be happy with what I have??
Why should I try to be someone else just to fit into a new group and make new friends??

Should I ???

Should I fake a laugh, plaster a fake smile on my face and not be me???

I can only imagine how mentally draining it must be to put on a show all the time, having to keep up a pretence in front of people.

Anyway, sorry for the random post but I needed to rant!!! I have a feeling a few things will be changing in my life!!


  1. Aww bless lovely. I know how you feel. I think social media allows people to pretend to be happy all the time! When you see everyones happy family days when all you did was shout stop it, put that down ... like you somehow failed. I also think as we tend to say "hi" on social media all the time we forget to actually "check in" and sit down face to face and eat cake! Hopefully see you and Ben soon at Lemur LinkUp or for a run around!

  2. Aww sweetie, always here if you want to drop in for a cuppa during the week. I do tend to force us all out the house at weekends and with hubby working most weekends I do try and spend time with him when he is at home. Know how you feel though, most of my friends still work full time and I only ever catch up with them on social media and with Eliza finishing pre-school at 12 each day it screws up the day for any adventures!